I've been missing in action and I thought I'd carefully share.
First... Happy birthday to my son! He is 15 years old today! He's my miracle, born at 24 weeks gestation weighing only 1 pound and 4 ounces. It seems impossible that he has finished his first year of high school. And to think that he once had a doctor tell me that he was severely mentally impaired and to get over it. I'm glad I refuse to believe everything I hear... even if I can be gullible at times. Despite cerebral palsy and high functioning autism, he is popular where ever he goes. He is truly a blessing to my small family.
Second, I have been struggling with stressed induced illnesses. When this happens, I am often unable to take my many medications, including the ones I take for depression and bipolar.... both of which I refuse to hide. I have learned that although it's a real pain, it also makes me who I am. I can choose for it to hurt me or enlighten me. I go back and forth when un-medicated. When I'm not around, I'm on the down swing and sincerely appreciate the words of encouragement and help that I get from my online friends. You are amazing. I have tears in my eyes as I right this part.
As far as the illnesses, I'm tired and I've been in denial. I have specialists I'm supposed to be seeing and I've refused to call on test results for a possible (benign/not a big deal) brain tumor. I can't eat much. The upside is that I've lost about 45 pounds! :)
Third, this disorder is widely misunderstood and one of the last accepted differences that people hold prejudices against in our society. It has caused me to lose friends, trust and respect. Many famous and successful people have this disorder without the public knowing about it. They suffer in silence and in fear. I refuse to do that. It provides empathy, creativity, and reassurance that I'm not crazy... as odd as that sounds. LOL!
My DH was diagnosed with a disabling genetic disorder a little over a year ago. It effects his cervical spine and will continue to worsen throughout life. But physical therapy is slowing the progress. My son needs radical surgery amongst other medical care as he is reaching puberty. I'm hanging on the edge and my hobbies are my life-line. It is crucial for me to get back in balance. Any prayers are welcome.
I want to thank the people at SCS and Christian Paper Crafts who have faith in me and are supporting me through these tough times: Cindy Coutts and the entire design team at CPC and Denise and the CAS design team at SCS. I presently couldn't get through all of this without you. The community at Stamp TV are a wonderful group of people who are special to me as well. And of course, where would I be without my family, the great people who take care of my son at a special camp 3 days a week, and my psychiatrist/counselor and her assistant. They are the best around.
Anyway, I haven't disappeared completely and I'm gradually enjoying crafting again as I try and "reinvent" myself in the career world... not an easy thing to do in Michigan.
Sorry for unloading. I just thought I should explain. kwim? I sincerely miss the galleries and seeing all the work from talented paper crafters. I miss you!
Hugs, prayers, and happy stamping,
Jen
11 comments:
It's OK to unload. Thanks for letting us help you through the miles. Everything thing will work out. Keep the faith.
People are like stained -glass windows.
They sparkle and shine when the sun is out,
but when the darkness sets in ,
their true beauty is revealed only
if there is a light from with-in .
Friend you shine so brightly and I will pray for you and yours.
Hi Jen
Thanks for sharing and being transparent!! We just had a sermon on this last week, so many people are afraid to SHARE what their struggles on, and that is half the problem! You will have SO MANY people praying for you (INCLUDING ME) because you were willing to risk and share. You are LOVED no matter what goes on in your life, God has a PLAN for you.
God bless, and thanks again for the post today. Keep us posted.
One of your MANY FANS,
~Lorri :)
Jen,
You are not alone. While I don't have half has many things going on in my life, I live with depression and believe me when I say I understand about the downs making it hard to take the medicine, which is just a vicious cycle...I'm just coming out of a down time myself...triggered by a job rejection I got a few weeks ago. Hang in there!!!! I'll be praying for you and your family!
Hugs!
Erin
Hey Jen,
We all face our struggles in life and I think if we can talk about it we will then find help, love, prayers and caring from the friends in our lives. Sounds like you are surrounded in lots of that!!
take care,
hugs and smules,
Karen D.
My prayers are with you and your family. I know it can't be easy. You are one brave lady to be able to move forward day after day - not many of us have your resolve. I also appreciate my "cyber friends". Thank you for sharing with us your struggles. I know your story will inspire somebody else out there. Hugs
What a heavy load you have! I'm glad you recognize that you do need an outlet for yourself. Thank you for sharing with your stamping friends, your struggles. Remember, He won't give you more that you can handle, as you cast your cares on Him. I'll be praying for you! ~ Luanne
Jen, I continue to lift up your burdens to our King. Thanks for the share.
I am glad you are back online. Keep your head up and your creativity flowing. It is a heavy load you carry, but God gave you strong shoulders.
Bless you and yours.
Jackie
Big Hugs Jen!!! Positive thoughts to you all as you find a new "normal"!!!
Jen, we will always be here to support you and pray for you and your family. God will never give you more than you can handle. The beauty of all of this is, is that you can dump it all right on Him too because His shoulders are big and I know He will carry you through this. You are fearfully and wonderfully made, and a true blessing to the crafting community. Know that you are loved by everybody, touch lives daily, and bless us all by you being you. I count myself honored to have you as my friend.
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