Blogging since 2006 ~ Formerly known as Stamping Therapy

Sunday, October 19, 2008

October 19 - The Sad Side

This card was made in memory of my second son who died during delivery on October 19, 2000. I made it a couple of years ago, hoping I would never have to use it. I did end up using it when a student of mine passed away. I'm so glad I had it on hand, because I wasn't in the crafty mood at the time.

Many of us have known someone who has had a miscarriage. Some of you may have known someone who has had a stillborn baby, a baby die as an infant, or a young child die either tragically or from an awful disease. In all of these situations, we need to proceed carefully.

What do you put inside a sympathy card for the loss of a baby or child? You can always use a search engine to find a verse or poem. There are lots of good ones. Don't ever say you understand.... unless you do. You can very appropriately say, "Just want you to know I care". When offering to help, be specific. Offer to go grocery shopping, help with older children's homework or car pooling. Maybe make a meal or do some laundry. Think concretely.

When do you send cards? At the time of death is just the obvious. But don't forget these times: at the anniversary of the death, the first Christmas or significant holiday, the child's birthday or due date for a miscarriage or premature birth.


Miss Boo

Stamps: Favorite Teddy Bear, Houndstooth, Hope for Comfort, Mini Mates
Paper: sage shadow, creamy caramel, white
Ink: close to cocoa, sage shadow, apricot appeal
Accessories: organdy ribbon, markers


Emma F said...

What a significant date for you my friend. I'm so sorry for your loss and I just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you. Thanks for the advice too ... luckily I haven't had to act on it, but I'm glad to know what is appropriate.

Dawn Marie said...

I love your creations! I also like the "guidelines" you have stated for the death of a child. I have gone through three miscarriages.
October 15th was one year from the day I lost my last one while in my 2nd trimester. It would have been lovely to have recieved some happy mail on that anniversary! You are a very caring person and am happy to have met you! Sorry for your loss and as you stated-"I DO understand"!Hugs

Heather "Hev" said...

Oh gosh, I am sorry. My mum had a stillborn 36 years ago and it is still raw. I think that because we talk of him (he was older than me) and acknowledge him its a help to her as back in the 70s things werent so open as they are now. o one spoke of him and baby was taken so she didnt see him ( although she woke too soon and caught glimpse.

tyrymom29 said...

Love your cards !!!!

Michelle Goodrich said...

I totally agree with your comments on this card. So sad to have to use it but it has such a soothing look.

I had a miscarriage many years ago and, looking back, was glad that I had always said, "I don't know how you feel but I'm so sorry. I'm here if there's anything I can do." Those were the most meaningful comments I received when it was my turn to be in that situation.

So, my SCS friend, thanks for sharing your story and "I'm here for you"!